#realtalk

If you really knew me you would know I have a freckle in my left eye & left foot
I fall in love too fast & I suck at math
You would know
My dad has left 12 times & I can't remember the last time I was on time to first period
You would know I can't wait to get out of here but I secretly adore everything here

And if you really knew me you would know i'm Rylee Rogers

Oh and also, I'm for realz gonna miss Nelson

i remember, because cancer won't take him away from me.

i remember when i could sleep.

when we had our whole future planned and were counting down the days.

i remember when your head start hurting.

and the thought of a brain tumor never crossed my mind.

but it had definitely hit yours.
i remember the things we planned that now are blurry vision covered by X-rays.
i remember planning our wedding & the tears that would fall from your eyes.
i remember looking over the city arguing over what we wanted to name our kids.

i remember  you telling me you want to give me the world.

and now you may not be in this cruel world long enough  to do that.

i remember when you took my summer.

and i now i can't even decide if i want it back.

i remember our big  bed with the whitest sheets  that would  feel cool against our burning hearts.

i remember the night i ended it and how you still kissed me.

i remember you waited for my heart to figure itself out because i sure as hell couldn't.

nothing can take you away from my memory not even a million tumors.

i remember when i was 17 and didn't have to remember and only plan.

#blackout Think the World of Good

us girls have got to stick together

I believe us girls have got to stick together, but instead we do the opposite.
We all get our hearts broken over and over by boys but at the end of the day it's the other girls we take it out on.
I don't quite seem to understand why that is so when we've all heard "this is a man's world" and we still don't stop and fight and with every story we hear about the little girl crying in her room because her daddy didn't hit her mom with love but with anger and with every tear that streams down that 17 year old girls face because of every piece of her heart that boy broke when he got bored and decided to jump to another even though she was as faithful and sweet as can be but it doesn't matter to them because it's a man's world and this is a man's world. And I believe that respect needs to had for them but for in an equal way because do remember we are the reason why your little babies are in this world and the reason your little baby girl's tiny hand will squeeze your finger that is the same finger that belongs to your hand the hand that was laid across the mothers face and the hand that ripped the heart out of that 17 year old girl so do please remember boys the next time you see or feel that little baby girl hold on to your finger, rememeber that little baby girl that you would never harm will grow into girls like us. And girls remember the next time you call a girl a terrible name that, us girls have got to stick together.

dear old friend

Dear heart,

I don't quite understand. I know you're there but I don't feel you. I know you beat but I can't catch the rythm. Maybe after you got broken last April, you disappear. But I guess I didn't get the memo. I hope you come back. I know we've been through a lot and I don't mean to ignore you, I still believe that you people should follow your heart and not your head but I guess I need to do what I preach. I will rememeber you I promise. I'll see you soon.

xoxo, A.Y.

i believe

i believe you can find yourself somehow in nature.
and i know that sounds cliche.

but really find yourself, or at least find parts of who you used to be.
sometimes the simpleness of a stupid tree on a dusky morning can instantly bring back every memory you have of a day in your children.

every knee you scrapped that mom kissed.
and that one day you went exploring to a place outside you hadn't been that far yet.
and how excited you got over just that.

i believe nature can help us find who we are, who we were, and help us get a clearer image of who we want to be.

so why not i mean, go explore.

to the girls who

to the girls who all look the same

to the girls with the big white smiles who never think about the little poor ones that walk miles and miles dreaming of having your teeth.

to the girls who are worrying more about how many instagram likes they have rather than how many humans actually like your real hearts and not the fake orange heart that pops up on the bottom left side of your screen. 

to the girls who are tweeting till their fingers bleed just so maybe he will see and maybe you will fall in love and be as happy as she.

to the girls who think they are higher than most because of your posts.

when you look at me do you see me or do you see my follower number do i show up in your brain as a human with a beating heart or do you just think about profile.

as you go to the canyon with your fake friends just to take snaps on the expensive camera that you aren't even grateful your parents gave you and you snap and you snap do you ever think about more to life than outside of that apple phone.

and as you sit on your nice leather couch and listen to your parents judge others with their self righteous attitude as you stare at your phone and watch every orange heart as it pops up again and again and again and with each heart you feel your self esteem get filled more and more by each second with each like.

i feel sorry for you because, you're already dead.